


You were everything.

by WallyWillyWalter



Series: To all those I've loved before: [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Freeform, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 19:14:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19874677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WallyWillyWalter/pseuds/WallyWillyWalter





	You were everything.

There’s something life-changing about meeting a boy when you’re trying to show your friend how fucked up your hair dye is and the boy tells you it looks okay. 

Just okay. 

My hair was orange and you thought I looked okay and that made me smile because I did not look okay. But there was a crying stranger in your store and you couldn’t have that. 

And then you called me the next day because you’d gotten my number from my friend and you wanted to know if my hair still looked just okay. You were so smooth, I swear. 

We talked all night. 

We talked about relationships and coffee and how you didn’t like it and how I loved it. We talked about marriage and neither of us believing in it. 

We talked about moving and my friend that worked with you and we talked about nothing and everything. 

All because I had orange hair. 

And that’s when I knew. 

It wasn’t at first sight. We’re both too pragmatic to believe anything like that could ever exist. 

But that’s when I knew you were going to be trouble for everything I was trying so hard to convince myself I believed. And that’s when you knew, too? Isn’t it? Yeah, you knew. 

You wouldn’t have kissed me had you not. 

You kissed me at dusk. 

It was all I had been wanting for weeks. The sky glowed pink, your hands rubbed my arms, my back pressed against the wall, and you kissed me and it was everything. 

Then you stopped and said the words I’ll never forget. 

“You know I have a girlfriend? Right?” 

No.

I didn’t.

I said I did but I didn’t. 

I didn’t know. 

I was stupid. 

She didn’t deserve that. 

And then you didn’t have a girlfriend anymore.

Your entire life was the “it’s complicated” status on Facebook. 

But I didn’t care. 

Honestly, I love you. 

I can say that because it’s true. 

You are a wonderful man, we have made mistakes, but you have a piece of my soul and I can’t change that without effort and I am just so lazy so you just get to keep that piece you have. 

We’ve never had a normal relationship. And my life was a disaster then and I so badly needed some normalcy. 

You were a shining option that needed real work for future success.

You were already a success that was at a crossroad.

You were everything.

And I got scared. 

And I ran away. 

And I married the wrong person. 

I can say that now. A lot of retail therapy and three years of actual therapy, I can say that now. It still hurts to say because I have to admit I did that. 

But you were a real possibility.

And I wasn’t ready for something possible.

I was looking for something concrete. 

Something safe.

Like I said, I was stupid. 

The first time I was on a mission.   
The second time I was closing a chapter.   
You were natural. You were everything. 

Maybe time was tired of watching me continually buy new watches because somehow, you came back. 

And I came back. 

And now we’re here - bruised egos and battle-worn.

Like nothing ever changed. 

And you are still everything. 

I’m so glad our past does not define us. 

Because I love you. 

So much. 

It’s funny to think how time plays with us. But I think time saved us. Because I don’t think we would have made it then. And I don’t think our friendship would have survived, even though I know you would have tried to make it. And even if the idea of us being together now is laughable, I love you.

I’m just so bad at timing. 

And time doesn’t stop for us.


End file.
